By Todra Payne

The other day I went to lunch at a nice Italian restaurant in my neighborhood. And for some reason I can’t remember, my lunch guest and I got into a debate over the name of Barbie’s sister. I said Skipper and she said Courtney or something totally wrong. Everyone knows it’s Skipper. Anyway, for fun, I asked our waitress to chime in and prove me right. She said she wasn’t too sure because she never played with Barbies. Fair enough.

But then she said this, “In college, my boyfriend and I were called Barbie and Ken. It was really annoying.” She looked a bit annoyed just remembering the incidents. I wondered why the Barbie comment, since our waitress had brown hair. But noticing  her roots, I realized she actually had blonde hair underneath the chestnut.

“Your hair is naturally blonde?” I asked.

“Yes,” she answered. “But I dye it because of all the ideas about blondes.”

I laughed. I didn’t think she was serious at first. But looking at her face, I realized she was dead serious.

“You know. The way society sees blondes, stupid and…” Her sentence trailed off.

“But there’s no reality to those kinds of things,” I said. “It’s other people’s problem, not yours.”

She shrugged and said she realized that, but still.

Wow. This was a serious cultural shock for me. As a WOC, I’ve always assumed blonde women relished in their “blondness” considering how much the media adores golden-hued tresses.

Not long ago I watched Disney’s “Tangled” and I was appalled at the level of blonde worship in that film. If you’ve not seen it, a quick recap. “Tangled” is the very updated retelling of the Rapunzel fairy tale, complete with an evil stepmother (actually kidnapper) a la Disney style. Rapunzel is locked away in a tower and only allowed to have her “mother” and her pet chameleon. Rapunzel lets down her outrageously long blonde hair so her mother can climb it to enter the tower with provisions daily.

Fast forward a bit and Rapunzel decides to escape the tower, meet a guy and run off with him on a journey that leads to her birthright. During their adventures, Rapunzel explains how her hair is “magic”. It lights the way in the dark, resurrects the dead and other rather ridiculous things. But here’s the real kicker: If her hair is ever cut short…

It will lose its magical powers and *gasp* turn brown.

Wow. Talk about a message. I watched the movie while forming all sorts of arguments and explanations in my head to my “daughter” I don’t have. I realize why a lot of parents I know don’t allow their daughters (or sons) to watch Disney cartoons. Or play with Barbies, for that matter.

I find it interesting that the waitress I encountered thought blonde hair only had negative connotations that she did not want to be associated with, while Disney clearly thinks blonde hair is something akin to the mission of Jesus.

But what’s most disturbing is that we have stereotypes at all. I know WOC who put chemicals in their hair – from relaxers to toxic dyes – because they can’t even imagine running around with their natural (aka “nappy”) hair. I hear Asian friends complain about how “flat” and “boring” their hair is because it won’t hold a curl properly.

The reality? We all need to reevaluate what we’re believing. What do you think?